I Put My Puddle In The Dryer. Now It's Gone!

Shirts and puddles have a lot in common, like how they’re both found on bathroom floors, or how they have dirt on them. At first I started thinking shirts and puddles have everything in common, but one day I put my puddle in the dryer. When the dryer buzzed, my puddle was gone. Suddenly it hit me: every time a puddle gets dry, it’s gone.
 

My heart rate increased as worry set in! Is this why people use dry cleaning? Will my shirt disappear once it’s dry, like a puddle does?
 

My mom finally convinced me that it’s okay to clean my shirts, and it turns out shirts and puddles don’t have everything in common. After washing my shirt, I moved it into the puddle destroying machine. And it survived! Arm holes, head hole, Teenage mutant ninja turtle logo and all! And I’m relieved. I felt like my shirt did not have a premium smell anymore.
 

But this explains a lot. For example, I was always confused how come we could go swimming and then dry off. Or walk sensually beneath a waterfall. Or get nickelodeon slimed! What about hair? You can officially get your hair wet in the shower without going bald! Someone tell the Californians their lakes are fine if they dry like shirts!
 

When I thought about hair, I always thought it would have more in common with puddles than shirts. Think about it—hair and puddles are both found on the bathroom floor. Well I guess shirts are too, so that’ll be a three way venn diagram. But shirts can’t really cause people to slip and fall like hair and puddles can. People like to put shirts in backpacks and drawers, but hair and puddles don’t belong in drawers nor backpacks. So hair and puddles have a lot in common that they don’t have in common with shirts. But one thing hair has in common with shirts is that it doesn’t have everything in common with puddles! And also hair and shirts dry the same, but different than puddles.
 

Just to be thorough, I feel like I should round out the previously alluded to venn diagram. Shirts and hair are both made from the same thing, but often different species. Shirts come in many different styles, which is parallel to the way that hair comes in many different styles too. One thing puddles have that shirts and hair don’t have is that they’re on the sidewalk. And people don’t use hairspray on puddles or shirts. As for shirts… I’ve never seen hair or puddles with the teenage mutant ninja turtle logo on them!