Diary of a Working Horse

Dear Diary,

I just want to start off by mentioning that I am a horse. I start every entry by saying that, but it just bears (scary!) repeating. I also would like to mention that I am not a lazy horse, a crazy horse, nor am I Patrick Swayze’s horse. Neigh! As a matter of fact, I am employed, well trained, and I belong to the city of New York. I pull humans through Central Park in a carriage. And I’m the 4th generation in my family to do so. Before that, we were glue boys all the way, but then my great grandfather started this little carriage business. It’s through my family’s noble line of employment that I see humans interact. But I’m curious, diary, why are all human relationships so tense? By the way, Neigh!

I have noticed that humans rarely speak to each other, and when they do, they say things like, “why would you think I want this?” and, “I was just trying to be romantic, but you’re impossible to please.” Oftentimes, you could cut the tension with a carrot. And not even my wholesome carriage rides can lighten the mood. Neigh! The dynamic is especially frustrating because I really build off the energy of my passengers, so when there’s tension, the quality of my work suffers. Therefore, my favorite gigs are when it’s just a woman and her cat. Those tend to be the most romantic. Their joy really resonates throughout my carriage, and I’m able to inject it into my ride. Those rides are really special. Neigh, delightful!

I only wish humans could be so romantic with one another. Perhaps I, a horse, will one day write a self-help book that guides humans into better relationships. But for now, I’m just happy easing the New York City traffic by helping people commute through Central Park.

Love,
I am a Horse, PhD (A Pulling Horse Doctorate)