Denny's Announces It Will Donate All of the Hair from Its Food to Locks of Love

LAKEWOOD, CA — In a post to Denny’s official snapchat story, it was announced that Denny’s, the Rogaine of breakfast food, will be partnering with Locks of Love. “Our kitchens already double as barbershops, so hair has always been our food’s bread and butter. Quite literally! But we’ve decided to donate that key ingredient.” said Dennison Eggsmith, the CEO famous for inventing that scowl you make as you pull a long, split end hair out of your mouth mid-chew. According to Eggsmith, the idea came to him all at once. “It was actually a shower epiphany. I saw all of the hair in the drain. Normally I’d collect it to bring to the kitchen, but it hit me right then. I got out of the shower, flipped table 3’s pancakes and then got dressed. Then I called my assistant and said ‘Get Locks of Love on the phone.’... At Denny’s we pride ourselves in being a part of the community. When you order Betty’s Chocolate Chip Pancakes, you know exactly whose hair made you lose your appetite.” Dishes themed for the partnership include the Bearded Collie Benedict, inspired by having a bearded collie sit on your couch, and the cream cheese, lox, and locks bagel. Denny’s is also now offering a dish called the ‘Alopecia Eggs’, which is their first entirely hairless egg dish. Locks of Love could not be reached for comment.