A Chocolate Fountain Buzzer Beater!

A Colleague Never Realized He Hadn't Told Anyone That He'd Never Used a Chocolate Fountain... Until It Was Almost Too Late

After a series of fortunate events for beloved colleague Mr. Dustin Strawberry, he found himself about to use a chocolate fountain. It’s worth noting that Strawberry had never used a Chocolate Fountain. It’s even more worth noting that Strawberry had never told anyone that he had never used a chocolate fountain. Hence, the potential groundwork was laid for a missed opportunity that the office would likely buzz about for minutes. Watchers across the conference room held their breath.

As Dustin Strawberry skewered a strawberry to dip, he seemed poised to live life never having said, “I’ve never used a chocolate fountain,” and meaning it. A hush continued among everyone in the conference room, although silence was actually normal among colleagues who otherwise had nothing going on in their personal lives anyway.

It all came down to this moment as the figurative clock ran down. Luckily, before using the chocolate fountain, Strawberry paused. He seemed stunned. Coworkers were on the edge of their seats, admittedly due to low morale rather than suspense.

Finally, Strawberry broke the silence which was unrelated to any drama regarding the office's chocolate fountain—purchased instead of increasing any worker benefits. He said, “I’ve never used a chocolate fountain”. Then he positioned a skewered strawberry beneath the flowing stream of sugary goodness and ate it carefully, but with purpose.

The conference room went wild! Strawberry had beaten the buzzer. Office energy had never been so high as every one of Strawberry’s colleagues politely nodded in unison, some saying, “sure”, some “hmm”, and a few even saying, “nice”.

Strawberry had allegedly planned to make a joke when he dipped the strawberry—something like “I always wanted to go into a chocolate fountain”—but at the last moment he realized he had never even used a chocolate fountain, but even more lamentably, he had never told anyone about never having used one. “Growing up, I remember my dad would always say ‘I’ve never used a chocolate fountain’, but then he stopped saying that. That day has come for me now.”

When asked if the joke opportunity was totally missed with Strawberry/strawberry, Strawberry had no regrets. “I actually got to make a better joke. I said, ‘That’s the last time I get to say I’ve never used a chocolate fountain. Unless I become a liar.’ And my coworker who I’d never talked to before chuckled. So that was really nice.”